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The Opinionated Wench

Opinionated Wench Arts and Sciences

Constitutional Law Problem: Is any of the following proposed legislation in violation of the Candian Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Which sections? Explain your answer in 500 words or less, making sure to give proper reference to the leading, cited cases.

Proposed Legislation

Canada No Legal Research and Writing Act

In this act, "Legal Research and Writing" and "LRW" includes:
  1. Law 110: Legal Research and Writing as offered at the University of Victoria Law School
  2. A course at any law school in Canada which is designed to teach first year law students the basics of legal research and writing through the infliction of boredom for two hours in the late afternoon or one hour at 8:30 in the morning, or some other unreasonable time.
Whereas:
  1. LRW is boring and
  2. stupid and
  3. possibly harmful to the mental health of law students and
  4. is known to render law students unconscious and/or comatose,
Therefore:
  1. LRW lectures are now prohibited
  2. as are tutorials

BC Bad Drivers Act

If you drive and there are
  1. horses
  2. dogs
  3. large objects
  4. dead bodies
  5. dead kangaroos
  6. a bag or bundle of rags
  7. any object not appearing to be the highway itself
on the highway, and you have about 120 metres between you and the enumerated objects in 1-7, and you
  1. hit
  2. run over
  3. disfigure
  4. wreck
  5. screw up
any of the said objects, your motor vehicle, or yourself, you are to be officially declared a "Bad Driver"
Proposed amendment to this act:
In this act, "bad driver" shall mean any permanent resident of British Columbia and any American tourist.

BC Stupidity Act

If an investigator from the ministry of BC Heritage stops you on the road and asks you who or what is
  1. Jean Chretien
  2. Jesus
  3. Beer
  4. The Globe and Mail
  5. the difference between know and now
  6. the right pronunciation of awry
  7. Confederation, circa 1867 or
  8. Pot
and you fail or
  1. stumble
  2. wait too long to answer
  3. look confused
  4. blush
the said investigator may tatoo a large red "L" on your forehead and list you as an officially "stupid" British Columbian

BC Fixtures Act

  1. If there is a chattel which is
    1. bolted
    2. drilled
    3. nailed
    4. glued
    to property, subject to s.2 provisions, it is a fixture.
  2. Regarding land and property to which chattel is attached, if that land is
    1. an Indian Reservation
    2. a hippie commune
    3. Salt Spring Island
    4. a ginseng garden
    provisions of s.3 apply.
  3. If land is anything enumerated in s.2(1-4), the said chattel in s.1 is seen to be violating and trespassing on some of British Columbia's most important areas.
  4. Pursuant to violation in s.3, the chattel in s.1 is subject to
    1. protests
    2. road blocks
    3. circle sentencing
    4. potlatch
    5. utopian ideals and cleansing

BC Vegetarian Registry

  1. Whereas the rampant spread of progressive ideals, Marxism, and meat-hating has caused economic hardship in the British Columbian beef steroid and bio-chemicals industries, and the strong neighborly relation ship with our right-wing, red-meat-loving Alberta neighbors; be it resolved that the Government of British Columbia adopt the BC Vegetarian Registry.
  2. In this act, "vegetarian" shall mean any person who actively avoids red meat, or red meat derivatives, replaces protein value through soy or egg/poultry products, eats granola (often), wears hemp clothing, goes to protests against Free Trade and Capitalism, reads Russian, is "in with the earth", talks to cows, worships pagan gods, hates corporations, enjoys Salt Spring Island, won't eat ice cream from McDonald's, or is tied to a tree with a chain.
  3. Any person who purchases
    1. soy milk
    2. soy yogurt
    3. hemp products
    4. "veggie" burgers
    5. more than 2 kg of salad products at a time or
    6. granola of any sort
    must register with the BC Vegetarian Registry.
  4. The BC Vegetarian Registry will use the registered names in the event that any sort of anti-meat, subversive activities may occur.
  5. Any person on the registry may, from time to time, be statutorily compelled to attend "The Keg" to be treated, on the Government of BC, to a rare prime rib.
  6. If, pursuant to s.5, the registered vegetarian refuses to eat the said prime rib, he or she may be compelled to take Beef OXO through injections every week.