The Opinionated Wench  

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Mahones Concert at the Urban Lounge

I don’t really like the Urban Lounge (okay, I don’t like most bars) because it’s always way too loud and smoky and they don’t serve any interesting beer. We receive Mike’s Hard Lemonade keychains and glow-in-the-dark stickers from a girl wearing way too much glitter. When the band starts, they are so loud I can’t even tell what song they’re playing, but Owen is in good company with all of the other Drunken Lazy Bastards.

I drink some beer (in a clear bottle) and magically the concert gets better. Our fellow bar denizens include two girls in very short kilts and knee-high combat boots, a look Owen describes as Goth Schoolgirl, a guy with bleached-blond hair and tattoos in a wife beater and acid wash jeans (I think this fashion statement is supposed to be ironic?), and a girl who is showing more cleavage than I even have. Between sets the bar deejay plays music that allows people with no culture (read, people who like Fat Boy Slim) to dance.

After Suzi leaves we share the table with 2 ladies who are beyond being Cougars -we decide they are Catamounts. The deejay takes pity on them and plays some ABBA. The girl with too much cleavage walks into the bathroom with her hand covering the offending area, looks straight at me (I am wearing a McNally’s Irish Ale t-shirt), and laughs. What a wench! I am too polite to laugh at her to her face. I prefer making rude comments about her behind her back.

During the second set I am slow dancing with Owen when some guy comes up and asks if he can cut in. I am rendered dumbstruck by Owen’s handing me over to this apparently random guy in a bar. He asks me to tell me more about myself. When I recover my wits I say I may be attending U of A Law in the fall. He is very astonished and tells me I shouldn’t - why would I want to do such a thing? I say it is because I want to be a scum-sucking bottom feeder. He picks me up off the ground, and I look at Owen as if to say, “Please save me from this nutcase!” He takes the hint and says to the guy, “If you drop her, you have to buy me another one.” I’m not sure if I am flattered or not. Later I find out that Owen knows this guy, and he’s a Law student.

Before the second set is over there is beer and smashed glass on the floor. Wife beater guy and two of his friends jump up on stage and sing “Sedated” with the band. I decide that I need to buy a Drunken Lazy Bastard shirt, but there are none available at the concert. Fionntan McConnell tells me to order one from Owen is such a Mahones fan that Fionntan remembers him from the last concert and asks him to come down to Calgary to be an extra in the video they are shooting the next day.

Score: Four Pints

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