The Opinionated Wench  

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Men In Black II

We went to see MIIB because we had a free pass, and I think Iím probably glad that we didnít pay to see it. Itís bad enough that before the movie started, we went to this coffee shop which shall remain nameless, although those of you who know me will know I consider it to be a Second Choice to the Evil Green Monster. At this second choice coffee shop, I had, it wasnít a soy latte, but it was the Worst Latte That I Ever Had. They had done something funny with the shot, like maybe pulled it for 72 seconds instead of the Evil-Green-Monster-approved 17 to 23, or maybe Second Choiceís decaf espresso roast is just really nasty, but anyway half a canister of chocolate flakes and three packages of sugar did not disguise the taste of the extremely nasty espresso shot and I ended up leaving it mostly un-drunk on the table.

We were in a Silver City, so the theatre we were in was quite large, but there were only two other people besides us watching the movie. We got some okay trailers, including one for the new Star Trek movie that was so vague I have no idea what itís supposed to be about, but I guess if youíre a Star Trek fan the knowledge that itís an even numbered Star Trek movie is probably enough motivation to make you want to see it anyway, and if youíre not a Star Trek fan thereís no motivation strong enough to make you want to see it at all. I think there were some trailers for some spy movies or something, and a teaser trailer for T3: Rise of the Machines, but I was sad there were no trailers for Matrix II, Harry Potter II, or LOTR II. There were posters for all of the above, though, and let me just say that after people were so sensitive about September 11 that Starbucks had to pull their poster of the two frapuccinos with the dragonfly that I am extremely glad LOTR II is still going to be called The Two Towers and not some lame other thing.

Anyway, MIIB (notice how everything is a sequel these days?) was harmless and funny with all of the obligatory Men In Black-conspiracy theory clichťs. The plot was pretty thin, but it was pretty funny. Gosh, thatís the best I can say for it? Oh, and Lara Flynn Boyle was surprisingly good as an evil lingerie model whoís actually made out of snakes. I mean, this is the first time Iíve ever seen her in anything, but I thought she was reasonably convincing. Not that anything in this movie was anything remotely approaching Oscar quality, of course, but I guess it was pretty funny. And Iím glad I didnít actually pay to see it.

Score: Two pints of a beer you really liked before, and then they stopped brewing it, but then they started again using exactly the same recipe they used before, except that when you had it the first time it was different from all the other beers youíd had, but now itís not new and exciting any more.

Score: Two Pints

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