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Guest Review by Owen

Final Fantasy

As a breakthrough animated feature, Final Fantasy is a huge success. As a piece of eye candy, Final Fantasy is second only to the Phantom Menace. As an enjoyable film to watch, it is a complete failure.

I was totally ready to enjoy Final Fantasy, but I found myself checking my watch less than halfway through the movie to see if it was nearly over. The Characters are totally unsympathetic and wooden, the plot nearly nonexistent, the villain of the piece was played exactly wrong, and the ending was so predictably anime that I could accurately predict when the giant tentacle was going to burst out of the ground.

The only fun part of this movie was playing the “what movie did they steal this from” game. “This is from Tron.” “This is stolen shot for shot from Aliens.” “This is a waste of seven bucks. I wish I had rented a better movie instead of going to this one.”

A waste of two hours. Don’t bother.

It gets one pint, and that pint is laced with something rather pharmaceutical, which explains the visuals in this movie.

Score: One Pint

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