Evil Green Monster -- Guest opinion by Manmeet, October 7, 2001
Ok, so my roommate says, she’s bored and we should go out later, I agreed and a few hours later we walked to the university and took the bus a very long way to a certain coffee house which shall remain nameless (think big green monster whose natural habitat is a big red cave which contains lots of books…).
Another reason my roommate and I were going there, was on a mission to check out a certain employee of the evil green chain for a gay friend of my roommate's (to see if the employee was gay also…)
So we walk in, and it’s my first time being in this coffee house, being from Toronto, I had managed to successfully avoid this evil chain and got my caffeine from another, much nicer chain…Of course, I have no idea what to order, only that I don’t want anything with caffeine in it, since it’s already after 9 and when we get home, I was hoping to be able to fall asleep…
The “Barista” was slightly rude from the get go, making fun of what my roommate had ordered, and then when it was my turn, I informed him that I didn’t know what was good, that I wanted a decaf coffee, in some flavor (my roommate frowns on flavored coffee, since she’s a coffee snob).
So when I asked what flavors were available in decaf coffee, I get a manufactured speech about how they don’t flavor their coffee with chemicals, they prefer to add syrup to the plain coffee and stir…so ok, I order raspberry and ask if they have lactose free milk available, since I am lactose intolerant, and I am told that this particular outlet doesn’t have any lactose free milk, but they do have soy, to which I respond that I don’t like soy milk, it’s nasty…so now I know that I have to settle for cream, which is ok for me, but I am sure there are people out there who can’t even digest cream…and then the Barista has the gall to comment that I am being a quote “pain in the ass”…excuse me? Who’s the one plunking down two bucks for COFFEE??? Who’s the one who’s coffee purchase is paying your salary? I thought the comment was un-called for, I am not going to apologize for having specific desires as to my choice of hot caffinated beverage! In my opinion, the Barista was the one being the pain in the ass!
So then I get down to having my coffee and it was gross, thin and too syrupy, so then I decide to ask for something different, but I went up to the guy on the “bar” who was much nicer and recommended a iced slushy type drink that had tea in it, but was non dairy and was actually quite good, I also discovered after that the drink I got in replacement for my bad coffee was upwards of three bucks.
So that was my evil green coffee chain experience, consider yourselves warned, for the few of you who haven’t had the great misfortune to walk into one of these places, unsuspecting.
Score: No pints, it sucked!
Opinionated Editor's Note: She is probably right about this particular coffee chain, but having worked there I was obviously indoctrinated and didn't find the experience quite as objectionable as Manmeet did. However, if I had been their secret shopper, they would totally have failed.